I realized it’s been a good while since I’ve written in here. So many things have happened this year that it honestly just blows my mind.
Back in January, I was diagnosed with seronegative RA-type arthritis, and what’s wild is that just a month or two before, a friend told me maybe I should try “mind over matter” for pain. I was completely speechless… like, what?! I’ve lived with back issues since I was 18 years old and always managed, but then my health declined fast — to the point where it was completely out of control. I was dealing with full-body pain and trying to get it under control, so hearing that just blew my mind.
After that, a few more things came up with this same person. Eventually, I got brave enough to say something that had been bothering me, and it wasn’t received well. That ended up being the last conversation we had. At first it pissed me off, because it always felt like they could nitpick everything about me — my friends, what I do, how I handle things or if I posted it on Facebook before I told them — and it just felt never-ending sometimes. But me? I never said anything about their life because it’s not mine to live. That’s how I’ve always been unless it’s something I needed to say.
Then February hit, and I lost one of my best friends unexpectedly. She was only 65. I met her through my “sister,” and we built such a strong friendship over the years. I only had about 10 minutes’ notice before it was posted on Facebook, and that part was really hard. But with the support of my close friends, my two other besties, and my husband, I got through it. From what her parents shared, it was quick. She had a lot of medical issues, and her body just couldn’t keep up anymore. The hardest part is that we had just talked not long before she passed. We were both looking forward to her getting her legs under control so we could start up our Wednesday crafting days again. We used to do that all the time until COVID hit, and then her health declined over the last couple of years. Now Wednesdays just aren’t the same.
That “sister” I mentioned is a childhood friend — we’ve known each other since I was 3. She’s basically the big sister I never had. Her parents helped mine on their new journey of raising a deaf child back in the early 1970s. We’ve gone through times where we didn’t talk for a while, sometimes 1 to 4 months, but every single time we pick right back up like no time has passed — and we still do. I trust her completely, and she knows I’m always here for her, and vice versa. I love that she’s laid back and never judgmental.
Then March came, and honestly, it was rough health-wise. I’ve had ongoing issues with my potassium levels dropping, and it got as low as 2.5 at one point. Between managing the arthritis and the potassium issues, I mostly kept to myself. And if I’m being honest, part of that was because of that same “friend.” They would belittle me about posting things on Facebook before telling them directly. (Side note — it’s not my fault you’re not on Facebook. I have other friends who don’t get upset about that.) Yeah, I’ll admit it — I compared them to my other friends just to piss them off because I was tired of being bitched at. That ended up being the last time we spoke, and honestly, I’ve made peace with it.
But here’s the kicker… there were two situations in their life that they posted on Facebook without telling me beforehand. Did you see me going off on them? Nope. I left a comment and went on with my day. That’s when it really clicked for me — that’s the game they’re playing…. trying to get a reaction out of me. Well honey, that’s not going anywhere anymore, because truthfully, I was already done. It just took me a little longer to fully wake up.
Which brings me to this… the Big Man up there has a plan, whether we understand it or not. Like I always say, everything happens for a reason — even if we don’t see it right away.
I do have a few more things I want to talk about, but I think I’ll save those for future posts. For now, I’m going to hop off the computer, and go take care of a few things.
Have you ever had to walk away from someone like this? Also, have you dealt with chronic pain and people not understanding?